During the first few dates, it’s often a little nerve wracking trying to figure out just where you stand.
Act too interested, you scare the other person away, act too aloof and you hurt their feelings.
So how can you find out if the other person is interested without asking outright? While there’s nothing wrong with open communication, sometimes a little reassurance is a good thing.
Here are a few of the non-verbal cues that can tell you how your date, man or woman feels about you:
- Smiles – Seriously, this one should be a no brainer, but there is always the nervous smile. You know a real smile when you feel it, it lights up the eyes and the room. Genuine smiles mean that a genuinely good time is being had. The important thing with smiles is to see what direction they are headed – awkward, I’m nervous smiles moving in to real ones is good….headed the other way, not so much.
- Mirror Mirror – If it’s done unconsciously, it can be hard to pick up, too obvious, it may come across as forced, but mirroring is the other person matching your changes in position, head tilts and body shifts. If the other person is interested, they will unconsciously copy your movements, moving further away or in closer as you do.
- The Eyes Have It – Eye contact is where it’s at! Of course, I don’t mean a creepy, non-blinking stare that could win a staring contest. But frequent, sustained and direct eye contact can be an excellent indicator of attraction and interest.
- Peacock Preening – Subtle vanity checks to ensure good looks are a great indicator of attraction. Both men and women will play with their hair and straighten their clothes. Now, a date that can’t pass a reflective surface without giving themselves a once over and a wink is probably more into themselves then into you.
- Lean on Me – Ok, don’t really lean on anyone, we might not be at the touchy point yet. However, when someone leans in towards you during conversation, closing the distance between you, it’s a sure sign of some attraction. Taking two personal space bubbles and creating a more intimate space around both of you can help turn the focus on to the date, and away from the rest of the room.
Body language works because it works on a subconscious level. It is also not fail proof – maybe they leaned in simply because the volume increased and they couldn’t hear you. Consequently, take the whole situation into account.
Don’t discount the verbal communication because you think the body language is saying something else. Use body language to help increase your confidence and comfort level, or recognize when something is not working.
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